Grandma Mary

My Grandma Mary is very special to me. She is a lovely lady and I love her dearly. I remember her being a good grandma while growing up, but our relationship really changed when I went to college. That's when she became a wonderful friend.

Grandma is great one on one, but I can't really remember her being good at hosting her entire family. I think it stressed her out.

During college Grandma was a stable supporter of my endeavors. I could call her at midnight while studying or if I was struggling with something. She would be awake and ready to talk. She was available to listen and help in anyway she could. That's one thing I love so much about her, she makes herself available.

She was also a huge financially support to me. Her generosity really softened my heart and made me want to give back to her in ways that blessed her. I look back with such fondness at the ways she helped take care of me. I thank the Lord for how he used her to show his hand of provision.

Grandma always filled my car up with gas on my way back to Lincoln, then later when I moved to Manhattan, and finally Colorado. I could make that tank of gas stretch for weeks. I had a knack for putting in just enough gas to get home from college. Driving in on fumes before I stopped to see her and got that tank filled again:)

Another tradition I remember with great fondness is back to school shopping. She would plan a trip to Norfolk to her chiropractor or eye doctor. If I took her to her appointment we would end up at the Mall where she needed some "hose." Her hose would cost her $10 and my jeans, shoes, shirts, and underwear another $200. She was so generous at a time when $200 seemed like a fortune.

I have fond memories of her supplying other needs too. During my early years at UN-L, I was foolish with my parking and got a couple of tickets. I didn't have the money to pay for them. I decided I would give plasma. My Mom and Grandma wanted nothing to do with that so they both sent money to bail me out.

Grandma loves to give when she sees a need. She got tired of Aric and I doing dishes by hand in Manhattan and a dish washer was purchased and sent to our house! She felt our time could be spent better else where other than doing dishes. I can not count the number of people that dishwasher blessed!

When she came out to visit me in Colorado (that was a special trip, that I will share about later) she saw that I had no table and helped me purchase a beautiful oak table that I will treasure for many years. 3 of our home furnishings are hand me downs from our Grandma's. A couch and chair from Grandma Mary and a couch from Grandma Helen.

I have too many special memories to write about in one blog. But I will continue again about our Cruise and Colorado trips later.

I will finish by saying that words can't express how much I love my Grandma. I am saddened that her mind is giving away and changing the way she lives. I miss her old self and her dementia makes me sad... but at least I have been blessed with such a fabulous Grandma. One that I will always be thankful for no matter what!

I think everything should be a pasture

In my attempt to treat all parcels of grass like a pasture I killed my lawn. I don't like yard work. We over paid the neighbor boy to mow our lawn in Creighton. We didn't pay anybody to take care of the lawn here and it died. It was kind of a blessing for a while because we were out of money and didn't have a mower and didn't need to buy one! However, it caught up to us.

We want to thank my brother Chad for re-planting our lawn. Our underground sprinklers are tempermental so we didn't use them. It got too dry so the grass died. Woops. (My dad said, you can't kill a lawn it just goes dormant!) Nope, we killed it. Anyway, Chad confirmed my diagnosis and he replanted it with a more water conserving grass. I am thankful that he did this. Now I just would like to see it grow. Our soil here is of poor quality, but we are asking the Lord to bless it!

We are learning to use our touchy lawn watering system. Shelli and I generally do not like watering the lawn. Mostly because my boss overwatered their lawn and it seemed their life revolved around mowing a 5 acre lawn 2 days a week for countless hours. I guess there is a happy medium.

I did learn many new things about a sprinkler system... I was even told by the underground sprinkler person that I could have a weekend job now because I have fixed the system twice! Shocking for me to fix anything other than an animal!

New House Update

I really love our new house. We have a lot to be thankful for. After Shelli's 4 week battle with some weird infection she is back on her feet again so we are starting to actually get our stuff unpacked. I could have done it, but if you know her knack for making a place look legit you would understand why I haven't done anything. Shelli doesn't decorate by going to Pier One or Hobby Lobby or purchasing the latest Live, Laugh, Love piece or some other overdone cutesy saying. I am not trying to insult anyone here, just trying to communicate our style.

Shelli decorates with a unique flair that is not trendy. It transends time and you can't really say its from one time period or another. For example... She had me pick up an old cream can from our old farm place and she is using it as a fire place accent. Or better yet, she just got done refurbishing 2 pieces of furniture that were left out in the barn by the previous owners. Shelli turned them into a dining room buffet and a living room cabinet. I saw a piece just like it in Crate and Barrel for $1500. I am thankful that she can decorate for almost free. She does have a paint allowance that she seems to spend quite readily!

I guess I have contributed to the homeyness of our home in 2 ways... I threw out a 40year old couch one day and came home with a new one. I did the same with a chair. She liked my selection so my eye must not be too bad. I am thankful that the Lord gives us grace to spend money on couches when many cultures just sit on the floor. We did stuggle with that a bit. My conviction means we must use it to glorify the Lord. So come over and use it!

All in all our house is so much more comfortable than our last one. Shelli is working on our guest room as I write... because we want guests. The guest room is going to put her over her paint allowance so make sure you comment on her choice.

See you soon!

Finding a new church when you don't want to.

The last 3 years we have been so blessed by the people and pastors that make up Faith Community Church in O'Neill. It brings tears to my eyes thinking about moving on. We have developed special relationships there. When I think about our dear friend Steve Randolph, who is one of our pastors, and how He, his wife Michelle, and son Clayton have been such a blessing to us it makes it almost paralyzing to want to find a new church. Combine that with our love for pastor Paul Harder's messages and fellowshiping with our dear friends Bill and Terry Brady and Jerry and Dee Dee Doke it just makes it hard to find a new church. We have been driving the 1 hr and 30 minutes since moving to Norfolk. We know it is too far to drive for a long term basis... but due to some of the hard things going on in our life right now, we just aren't ready to let go full time! We will probably make the drive frequently over the next 6 months.

Thinking that Norfolk will be our home here on earth for a while, we decided to try a church here in Norfolk today. The service was okay. It will be the first church we attend of several before deciding on where to plug in.

My prayer is that we can find a church family that we love as deeply as our family at FCC. We would like to find a local body where we can see God working... where we can serve him mightily... where the people have a heart for people who don't yet know Jesus yet... a place that has a heart for the nations! Dear Lord, please give us a church family. Thank-you that we don't have to do life alone. Please be with us during this difficult transition. Thank-you we live in a country where we can easily find other beleivers. We love you daddy.

When Life Feels Hard

There are things in my life that really suck right now and it is hard to see God in the midst of it. It is the first time in my life that I can actually see why people would choose to give up on God. If I didn't really know God's character or had not been given the wonderful privilege of journeying with him for 20 years, I would be the first to tell God to kiss my ass and not live for him anymore. Right now it seems easy to give up hoping in him. I don't want to give up, because I know he is my only hope and I would be foolish to do so. Giving up seems easier than hoping for something you feel may never happen.

Despite my feelings, I need him! Today my prayer has been that my hope will abide in him. That I will continue to trust him, even though I hate the circumstance I am in right now... That I will love him and hope in him even when he doesn't give me the things my heart longs for. That I will fall so in love with Jesus that I live unashamed for him... living for his agenda not my own... and I want to be joyful with it:)

I wish that loving Jesus eliminated the heart ache. It sure doesn't, but it does give me someone to turn to. I don't want my heart to ache so bad that I turn from God and blame him. I want to put my trust in him. I have been struggling with the verse... "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4. I want to continue to beleive that he will come through... even though right now it is nearly impossible for me to think this verse is true.

Once again I ask- Lord, give me faith to beleive what you say you will do... Please prove to me again that your word is true. I love you Daddy. I am waiting for you to answer my prayers.