This Journey

This journey we are on in life is quite interesting. There have been several chapters of my life I would have never chose to live, but God must have chose them for me... I relied on him... He brought me through... and I praise and thank him for taking me through most of them in retrospect. It is still painful to think deeply about some of the situations though.

One such chapter is the one God is writing now. I didn't ever really want to know this much about trying to have children. I sure would have never picked this road to walk on. I was the one in marriage counseling when asked "when do you want to have kids?" that responded "Right away, and I hope we have twins:)" I have been oh so thankful for my time with Shelli. I feel like we have a fabulous marriage. We are so in love, spend lots of time together, and truly enjoy and feel richly blessed by the other person. It seems like all couples should have to share a deepness of relationship before they have kids too. Obviously not. Hormones have accomplished much over the years.

I want to walk this road well, but so far have resorted to some not so Christ like responses. Today, I prayed, Lord we want to glorify you even in this. Jesus, help us to do that.

I am looking forward to God coming through for us. I truly feel that he will. I am trying so hard to trust in his timing, even though every month I am sure his timing must be now!!! For many years now, I have felt that I would have a set of twins for children. I told that to Shelli soon after we were married and to our best man. I am sure they both thought I was crazy. However, I am beginning to wander if God was speaking that into my life in preparation for this trial. Just today we talked about whether or not we would be okay with twins if we use fertility treatments. We both said a resounding Yes! I think it would be quite splendid if God brings this to fruition. However, we would be just as thankful (probably even more so) if he would give us 1 healthy baby now before we have to do anything else! Come on God, please come quickly and take care of our hearts as we wait in expectation. We love you, and promise to give you all the glory, no matter what happens.