The loves of my life.

I have 2 loves in my life. My Jesus and My Wife. I speak of them in that order because Jesus is my first love and Shelli is my second love. Thats the way we like it around here. I am Shelli's second love too. We are so glad the other one is crazy about our Savior.

Lately I have felt more in love with my second love than ever. It is amazing how little love one has for their mate when you first get married. I feel like the depth of love I have for her today is not even comparable to 2 1/2 years ago. I can't imagine how much I will love Shelli years down the road. Like 50 years from now... I am pretty sure both of us will be uanable to function without the other... Plus, we'd both rather be in heaven by then anyway so I guess God will work that one out for us!

Its not that I love my Savior any less, it is just with everything we are going through right now, it has made it easy to love Shelli. She is precious. She is so compliant and willing to please me. She is a delicate flower and sturdy oak tree wrapped up in one package. She does so much more for this marriage than I do. She thinks of me throughout the day and can't wait for me to get home from work. She very rarely wants to spend time away from me. She is kind and gentle. I am rough and coarse. She is soft hearted and quiet. I am soft hearted and loud. She works so hard for us preparing excellent meals, keeping our house, earning lots of money at a demanding job, taking care of my horse business, loving the poor and needy, and taking care of the billion things that my random brain leaves for her to do, plus all the things she wants to do and sometimes doesn't get to.

I am reading the book "It all goes back in the box" by John Ortberg. There was a striking story in the book about a husband and wife named Carlyle and Jane that really struck me. The story goes like this..

Carlyle married his secretary Jane. She was highly intelligent and attractive, and she continued to serve as Carlyle's secretary after their marriage. Some time after their marriage, Jane became ill with cancer.

Carlyle was deeply devoted to his work. He did not seem to notice his wife's ill health much. Eventually she was confined to her bed. Although Carlyle truly loved Jane, he found that he did not have much time to stay with her or much attention to give to her. After several years of this, Jane died.

The day of her funeral, once Jane was burried, Carlyle returned to their house that was suddenly, shateringly empty. He went upstairs to Jane's room and sat in the chair next to her bed, the chair he had had so little time for. He noticed her diary lying on the table next to her bed. He picked it up and began to read. On one entire page she had written a single line: "Yesterday he spent an hour with me and it was like heaven: I love him so."

A reality that he had somehow been too blind to see now revealed itself with crushing clarity. Carlyle turned the page of Jane's diary. He read the words that would break his heart, words he could never forget: "I have listened all day to hear his steps in the hall, but now it is late and I guess he won't come today."

I sat stunned as I read. I know sometimes I treat Shelli this way. I have all these things I do in a day and she just wants to spend time with me. Sometimes I fill my day with everything but my precious wife who I love so much. My heart and eyes welled up with tears. I knew I was guilty of a similar lifestyle. My wife lay sleeping next to me while I read and I was able to put my book down and talk to my other Love about helping me be a better husband.

I am so glad that I read this story. It has helped me remember to take time for Shelli. She needs it and deserves it. I love her so much that I look forward to perfecting spending time with her for many more years. I am glad that we are a work in progress. Now time to go be with her.